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How to divorce a spouse, without divorcing his or her family

by | Jul 24, 2014 | Divorce, Firm News |

When a couple decides that it is time to part company, it can be difficult for their friends and family to make the adjustment. Even though both parties to a divorce may feel relief that they have made the right decision, the people around each individual may find it harder to let go of their own relationship with the other spouse. This may not create any problems or issues unless children are involved, when it becomes important to put their well-being first. In California, if there are reasons to restrict such access due to abuse or neglect, then one may feel it necessary to invoke legal processes in order to safeguard the children — but more often, one is more likely to find a sense of diplomacy more helpful.

It is natural for people to worry that a divorce between a couple means the end of all family ties, and grandparents in particular may fear losing contact with the children. While it may mean that there will be some changes to routines and visitation access, it need not spell an end to those relationships. If the divorcing parties remain on good terms, then it can be far easier to enable children to maintain contact with family and friends on both sides.

Where an individual may find problems is when they are not happy to be around their former spouse, but are quite happy for their children to maintain contact with the ex’s family. Other people may not consider, or realize, that the former spouses would prefer not to associate closely. If one suddenly finds that his or her ex has been invited, for example, to a family function, it can cause unease which might spoil the occasion.

In such cases, California residents may find divorce mediation a helpful tool. An impartial third party can facilitate an open discussion between a divorcing couple, helping them to come to a mutual agreement in advance about the way contact will be maintained between the children and the families of both parties. In this way, both parties may be able to reduce the possibility of unexpected and uncomfortable meetings.

Source:, “Letting go of ex’s family may be harder than divorce“, , July 21, 2014


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