Divorce can be an emotional time for all involved; however, if one does not let one’s emotions get the better of one’s self, one can have a much smoother and less dramatic divorce. This will help one to move on faster and enjoy one’s life during these changes. Most importantly, making the effort to have a civil California divorce can increase the chances of the separated couple keeping a civil relationship in the long run, which significantly helps children of divorce to cope.
One’s first instinct when divorcing, especially if one is not the one who suggested divorce in the first place, is often to lament the situation or to get angry about it. However, keeping those emotions at bay for the sake of one’s future will be much more worthwhile than any hurtful angry remarks or excessive self-pity. Being civil with one’s ex spouse does not mean that you need to constantly spend time together; just the act of keeping negative emotions at bay when interacting with one another, especially if the children are near, can be beneficial for all involved.
Conflict, not the act of divorce itself, seems to be more harmful to the children than anything else. Keeping arguments away from the children, being supportive and active parents in the children’s lives, respecting one another’s rights as parents and promoting strong family ties will have a much more positive effect on one’s children. Being mindful of one’s actions now can affect one’s future and how one’s child will be affected by it.
A good divorce cannot happen through the efforts of one person alone. Separating spouses need to communicate with each other calmly about the way they want to conduct their interactions and the way they want things explained to their children. Keeping one’s children’s futures in mind can effectively motivate one to try and have civil divorce proceedings. California professionals in divorce law are available for guidance on how to stay civil during the proceedings.
Source: The Seattle Times, Couples can divorce without drama: Beyond the hurt, anger and fear, Susan Kelleher, Aug. 30, 2013