Struggling to get along with your ex-spouse can leave you feeling tired and frustrated.

Dealing with parenting your shared children can make this situation even harder. Knowing how to diffuse or prevent arguments can help you both figure out how to have a healthy attitude toward co-parenting.

Stay on topic

According to Healthline, you should never discuss old personal problems while talking about important topics like health care or education for your child. While you may feel upset about what happened in the past, this will only prevent the both of you from working toward a shared goal.

Keep in touch

Texting or calling about important questions you may have is better than neglecting to discuss the issue at all. You and your ex-spouse should talk openly and be cooperative if one of you needs help.

Double-checking your emails or messages before you send them can help you change your tone if it comes across as too aggressive or demanding. Routine, regular check-ins through text messaging may help you feel at ease when your children are over at your ex-spouse’s house.

Listen openly

As important as it is to talk about what you want, you should also listen to your co-parent and what he or she wants and needs. Making sure both parties fully understand what the other one is saying can help you avoid unnecessary arguments.

Take turns speaking and do not interrupt or interject with another opinion. Asking for clarification is also helpful for problems, such as figuring out holiday routines. While co-parenting is not always easy, preventing arguments can help you and your children feel secure.