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How does domestic violence escalate?

On Behalf of | Dec 5, 2020 | Domestic Violence |

Domestic violence is a situation that rarely occurs without warning. Almost all situations have an element of escalation. 

The way an abuse situation escalates can sometimes make it tough to even recognize there is anything wrong until you have a serious event occur. Understanding how domestic violence escalates can help you keep yourself safe. 

Subtle signs

The National Voice of Domestic Violence explains that in abusive relationships the abuser will typically try to push the boundaries and see how far he or she can take it. You may not even notice it because it can be so subtle. The main thing your abuser wants to see is how you react when he or she does something that goes beyond your comfort zone because if you do not react, it gives them the ability to push further. 

Control is always a huge factor in abuse situations. Your abuser will slowly gain control over you through various actions. He or she may tell you not to hang around with a specific friend or may tell you that you do not need to work because he or she makes enough money. While these may not seem horrible on their own, they are just one step in gaining complete control over you. 

The process 

Even understanding the tactics does not always help you see how it can happen to you. You may begin the relationship intensely. There may be a lot of love and support. You will probably fall head over heels in love and not believe this person is capable of abuse. 

However, in time, things will change. If you speak up about not liking the way things are, your partner will refer back to when you first got together and how great you thought he or she was. The abuser will convince you that you are just sensitive or misunderstanding him or her. 

Soon, your abuser will be able to do things that upset you because you will write it off as a fluke. After all, you know he or she is a good person who loves you. Eventually, the abuser has complete control. You become lost in the relationship, and violence can happen easily. 


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