How two parents handle the interaction between each other and with their children post-divorce will have a lot to say about how the children grow emotionally in their formative years. Cooperative co-parenting is a popular concept in California and other states. Truth be told, however, this is a difficult model for many parents to master after a divorce. At the least, it will take time for some parents to adjust to the idea of keeping past emotional heartaches under check for the sake of the children.
Where this model turns out to be successful it will usually signify that the parents have gone on to appreciate a new relationship that is built on appropriate values of parenting. That kind of growth may take some time and quite a bit of effort by a parent who naturally tends to cling to the old triggers that caused dissension between the spouses. A parent must come to see that the airing of such demons from the past are hurtful to the children and not in the spirit of co-parenting cooperation.
Parents must learn to speak objectively about each other when they are with the children. They must learn to show the children how they are working together to keep a family concept, albeit it different in nature, intact for the children. One can let out one's exasperating feelings when engaging in counseling sessions, but not in front of the children.
For those parents who can follow a consistent and structured format that does not entail competitive or conflicting interests between the former spouses, there are rewards. The children will grow without the painful baggage of still-bickering parents. They will not be emotionally handicapped and will have positive experiences to build upon as they transition to adulthood. It is always helpful and productive to discuss these and similar concepts with one's California divorce attorney to get as much knowledge as possible going forward.