Many marriages end due in part to communication challenges, so it is not surprising that divorced couples often struggle with communication as well. While some exes in California have no need to keep talking after a divorce, others must continue to communicate about issues such as shared children, businesses, the sale of the marital home and spousal support. Here are some tips experts offer for how best to speak with a former spouse.
Co-parenting is one of the most common reasons people have to continue speaking after a divorce. It is important in these cases for both exes to put children first wherever possible, and consider their feelings when choosing how to conduct themselves. Empathy and active listening are both good ways to communicate positively even with a difficult person.
One of the most common pieces of advice is to pick the right battles. Not everything that is bothersome is worth a conflict, so it is a good idea to pick issues that truly matter and address them using “I” statements. When an ex raises an issue, even if it’s initially disrespectful in tone, work to address the problem rather than the person.
This advice might help some people entering a co-parenting relationship with an ex. For others, personality incompatibilities or other more serious challenges might make it more difficult. Working out a clear co-parenting plan early on in the divorce, with each person represented by his or her own California family lawyer, is a good way to get off on the right foot despite these challenges.
Source: goodmenproject.com, “8 Things to Consider When Communicating With Your Ex“, May 9, 2018