Of all the relationships that people have in their lives, marriage is often the most personal. How things are going between an individual and their spouse can affect everything else in one’s life. Marriage requires a constant input of effort, but if it becomes too much like hard work, and a couple find they are just reiterating the same old arguments, does this suggest that it’s time to consider dissolution of the marriage? For couples in California, what might they need to consider if a divorce is looming?
The cyclic arguments may provide some clues. If debts are an ongoing issue, it would be advisable to check one’s financial position and consider how that might be affected by divorce. Financial concerns may also include such things as retirement plans, insurance and spousal support. If children are involved then one also needs to consider such things as child support and custody arrangements.
If threatening or abusive behavior exists within the relationship, it is a clear signal that decisive action is overdue, for the sake of one’s own health and well-being. Planning a safe exit from the marriage may require assistance from other people, whether it be from a domestic violence shelter or friends and family. In extreme cases, one may wish to consider the obtaining a restraining order against a particularly violent or emotionally manipulative partner.
Well-meaning friends and family may have a lot to say on the subject. Certainly other people’s view can provide a helpful insight, or open up a line of thought one had not considered, but ultimately only the individuals involved in a relationship are able to decide what they really want to happen. Couples in California who reach the decision to go through with divorce may also benefit from using mediation, allowing both parties to fully discuss an agreeable settlement, and possibly reducing legal costs as well as time spent in a courtroom.
Source: The Huffington Post, “5 Signs Your Marriage May Be Headed For Divorce“, Julie Orlov, May 5, 2014