Typically, the decision to dissolve a California marriage is a time of emotional upheaval, especially if the circumstances are acrimonious. During the initial divorce proceedings, individuals may find themselves behaving in ways which are completely out of character. Some may become introverted and anxious, while others may be aggressive and vengeful. Here are a few tips to help make a smooth transition through this tumultuous time.
The answer sounds simple — maintain your dignity. The accomplishment of this may be far from easy, as the need to lash out and hurt the other person can seem overwhelming and lead people to act without fully considering the potential repercussions. Angry, perhaps even abusive, communications — either directly or through social media — may at some point be used against a person as evidence of their aggression or instability. The things one says, or the way one behaves, in public may be shown as attempts to impugn a spouse’s character or turn people (especially one’s children) against them.
As frustrating as it may seem, the best thing an individual can do for themselves is to try to maintain their composure in all aspects of their life in order to avoid potential problems during divorce proceedings. One’s drinking, dating and other habits may seem harmless, but one may come to realize that this may be more about self-care than it is about playing politics. It can be easy to lose sight of what is in one’s own best interests when emotionally distraught, and severe errors in judgment at this time could result in feeling worse than ever as time passes.
Expressing one’s pain is essential, though it is helpful to find a way that does create vulnerability. Seeking advice and guidance from appropriate sources regarding the divorce laws in California and also for one’s emotional welfare is the best way to empower oneself and regain equilibrium. Once an individual feels that they have reclaimed some control over their own circumstances, their outlook may be far calmer. That may put them in the best position to achieve a divorce settlement that is fair and comprehensive.
Source: The Huffington Post, “Newly Separated? Don’t Do Anything Stupid!“, Jackie Pilossoph, April 6, 2014