When it comes to emotional issues, such as the dissolution of a marriage, it can be hard to maintain a positive mindset. Pain, anger and frustration may be difficult to control, despite the continuing damage they inflict upon the person experiencing them. How can California couples going through the process of divorce recognize when this is happening?

If one finds oneself thinking of ways to get some kind of revenge, or obsessing about the rights and wrongs of what has taken place, this can also have an effect on one’s physical well-being. It is widely recognized that stress, anger and other negative emotions can manifest in ways such as headaches and muscle tension. It is also the case that extreme emotional turmoil can be a drain on an individual’s energy which may lead to a general feeling of weariness, and possibly further ailments.

It may help to remember that progressing beyond the divorce in a positive manner can surpass negative approaches. If one focuses his or her efforts on the other party, then this may actually achieve the opposite of its intention the other party continues to be of importance in one’s life. Letting go of a perceived need for vengeance allows one to focus instead on themselves, and what course they would like their future to follow.

California is a “no fault” divorce state, which means that neither party has to apportion or accept blame for the breakdown of the marriage. Appropriate advice from trained legal professionals can assist with the division of assets, and mediation is also an option where couples have difficulties in agreeing what they deem to be fair. Whatever the problems which led to this outcome, if one can let go of the past it will be easier to go into the future with optimism and peace.

Source: The Huffington Post, Can You Let Go of Grudges After Divorce?, Rosalind Sedacca, March 25, 2014