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Emotional and prolonged California divorces are bad for kids

by | Jul 10, 2013 | Divorce, Firm News |

Divorce can be a difficult time for all who are involved, especially if the couple has children. Often times, in California and all across America, children do not understand why their parents are divorcing, and they can show their frustrations at their parents by acting out and causing some insecurities between them. This behavior can get worse the more emotional and drawn-out the process is. The frustration can carry on into adulthood and could possibly affect the parent-child relationship once the child has grown up. Two studies have recently shown that when a highly emotional or unnecessarily prolonged divorce occurs early in one’s childhood, relationships with parents in adulthood tend to be more shaky than with children whose parents divorced later in that child’s life.

The first study surveyed over 7,700 adults about their personality and their close relationships. Over one-third of the participants’ parents had divorced in their childhoods. Those from divorced families were found to be less likely to say that they have a secure relationship currently with their parents. Those whose parents’ divorces occurred between ages three and five had more insecure adult relationships with their parents.

The second study was repeated again with 7,500 new people. This study additionally concluded that the insecurity of adult relationships with parents was geared more towards fathers than mothers. However, the scientists speculated that this was because children were possibly more secure with the parent awarded primary custody in a messy divorce, which was the mother 74 percent of the time.

California divorces do not have to have such negative impacts on the children if they are handled properly. If the divorce is highly emotional, it is best to make sure any fights and negotiations are away from the children. One should try his or her best not to unnecessarily prolong the process. Consulting with a professional in divorce law can help give couples priceless information on how to have a clean divorce and therefore reduce the negative emotional impact on one’s children as well as the subsequent relationship one has with his or her child when that child is an adult.

Source:, “Divorce Early In Childhood Affects Parental Relationships In Adulthood,” June 29, 2013


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