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White Christmas, or a Fight Christmas leading to divorce?

Christmas is a time for peace and goodwill; however, the fact that it is also one of the most stressful holidays of the year can make this reality a challenge. It can be particularly difficult for California residents who are unhappy in their marriages. Things that one would normally shrug off may instead irritate one to the point where divorce begins to seem like the only option. How can one tell whether his or her reaction is reasonable or out of proportion to the situation?

In-laws can be a common source of friction at this time of year. If one already has a tense relationship with his or her spouse's parents, then the pressures of Christmas can exacerbate things to a point where every comment is seen in a negative light. This in itself is not necessarily the heart of the issue – the problem arises if one's spouse fails to defend him or her against such jibes or criticisms. There are times when peacemaking for a short term may be better for everyone in the longer term, but marriage is a partnership and it is normal to expect the backing of one's spouse. If lack of emotional support is a consistent problem throughout the year, this could lead to marriage problems.

Selecting gifts is a task that is usually done with care and thought, so it can be disappointing if one receives an impersonal gift instead. This may be something that can be avoided in the future by better communication; however, if this is repeated year after year, one may need to examine the reasons behind this. The high expectations of the perfect Christmas can place even the best matched families under enormous strain, and once again communication may help to reduce this pressure in the future.

The area of finance can be one of the biggest causes of arguments. It is natural to want to spoil the people one loves during the holidays, and overspending can occur without even realizing it. For those California residents who worry about the spendthrift ways of their spouses on a day to day basis, this may prove to be one worry too many. Whatever one's reasons for thinking about divorce, it is a decision best made after careful consideration and with the advice of an attorney, avoiding as much undue influence as is possible at such a time.  

Source: The Huffington Post, "The 6 Most Common Arguments Couples Have Around The Holidays", Brittany Wong, Dec. 2, 2016

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