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In the best interest of the child, not for the sake of the child

Parents naturally want the best for their children. Many California couples on the brink of divorce will be familiar with the idea of staying together for the sake of the child; however, it is not always in the best interest of the child. Rather than creating a stable and reassuring two-parent home, it can instead become something akin to a war zone.

Most children feel more comfortable when they have regular routines. They feel safe when they know what to expect and upon whom they can rely. If parents are caught up in marital strife, children almost always pick up on even the subtlest of nuances. When couples on the verge of divorce communicate with each other, even the best attempts at restraint may not hide tones of contempt or snappy attitudes, and this can leave children feeling confused and insecure.

When forced to make the best of a bad situation, even the most resilient person can find it a strain. Parents who are unable to work through divorce discussions without acrimony may find that this also affects how they relate to their children, who can sometimes blame themselves for argumentative and negative atmospheres at home. If, however, the parents are separated from each other, it can make it easier to maintain more positive relationships with children.

If a California resident may have been inadequate as a spouse, it does not necessarily follow that he or she is also a bad parent. With this in mind, it is in the best interest of the child to encourage him or her to continue in loving relationships with both parents. Rather than hindering the process, living apart while finding a way to reach mutually agreeable decisions on custody and child support issues may help to reassure children during the transition period. If it proves too difficult for couples to communicate without animosity, then it may be worth considering the services of a qualified mediator.

Source: The Huffington Post, "7 Ways You Can Damage Your Kids By Staying In A Bad Marriage", Brittany Wong, May 17, 2016

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